Teenagers scare the living shit out of me.
It's weird, you know? It didn't really hit me till now. Just this whole, weird process of growing up and saying goodbye to your last little bit of childhood. For a lot of kids, it kind of means losing the person you were to become the person you should be. And I think a lot of people get lost in that. It's a time where you're forced to put aside your playful creativity and replace it with money and work. What makes this part difficult is that I don't want to change. Once, my painting teacher pulled me aside and confronted me about my art. She told me it was a bit childish. All of the playful energy that I had should be morphed into something more mature and deep. In other words, I was in 10th grade and it was about time I started growing up.
I mean, sometimes I think I could be a bit more mature. But in doing so, I'm afraid I'll lose that creative side of mine. It's what keeps me balanced and anchored. If I can keep myself the same I've always been, I won't have to get lost anymore. It seems that everybody is lost somehow, like they need to find themselves. I suppose that's the awkwardness of becoming a teenager and seeing the world a little different. People get lost. Sometimes, they never find themselves. It scares the shit out of me.